Monday 24 March 2008

Ticket terror, security subversion

Call me old-fashioned, but these e-tickets, e-visas, and (on Wednesday) e-boarding passes just don't feel right to me. I keep checking the bits of paper that I have printed out myself to make sure there really isn't something I've failed to do that will cause me to be refused entry at the airport, miss my flight and spend painful hours trying to explain to everyone that I'm a) more of an idiot than they ever thought possible, and b) didn't do it on purpose through fear of flying.

And then even if I do succeed in making it to Terminal 5 (or T5 as they trendily call it) there's the pressure to sabotage any attempt to fingerprint me - someone on Radio 4 PM this evening was calling for all-out passenger rebellion, suggesting the use of superglue and a small pointy implement to create your own finger-end designs instead of fingerprints. But, quite aside from superglue having a mind of its own, and the risk of sticking myself to my hand luggage, or worse, the security personnel trying to arrest me, my freehand icing skills leave so much to be desired - how on earth can I design my own fingertips to an acceptable aesthetic standard? So much to worry about!

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