Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Remembering my mother



Seven years ago today, quite unexpectedly and without warning, my mother died. She was 85, and as vivid and lively, especially in her voice and views, as she had ever been.

She enjoyed being able to say, when ticked off by her disapproving doctor or daughter (me)  for continuing to smoke, "Well, I won't die young because of it!" And neither she did.

I hope she knew how quickly the end came; she had a horror of a lingering, enfeebled old age, fearing the spectre of dementia or inability to care for herself. Amidst our grief and shock, there was also relief for her that she departed as she would so ardently have wished - quickly, easily, and without fuss.

She left a wealth of memories, expressions and opinions which continue to live on in our little family. She loved and was loved, and won't be forgotten.

Dear Teddy, you left a big gap, and oh, you are missed.

18 comments:

Deleilan said...

A very brief but touching tribute to your mother, who sounds like she was a remarkable person...

Lucille said...

Shocking for us but a blessing for them. My mother did exactly the same thing at 83 (yes and smoking too). She had been to a party the night before - a rare event - but she was the centre of attention and loved it.

Karen said...

Like your mother, my grandfather went the same way. He was in the middle of reading the Sunday funnies, putting on his socks so that he could go to church and then - bang!- dead from a massive stroke.

That's the way I want to go - quickly after I've read the Sunday comics.

liZZie said...

Ahhhh. Horrid isn't it? I yearn for my mum more than ever sometimes, even after coming up for nine years, and how I'd like her to be able to see me now so she could stop worrying at last.

Fran said...

She looks fab. I would trust her with my secrets immediately. What a lovely mum. No wonder you miss her.

Lesley said...

RIP your mum - she looks and sounds great. Mine is going down the slow decline route I'm afraid and losing her marbles....sigh....

Lesley x

mountainear said...

We've all got to go and your mother's end seems far the best.

It's my Dad I wish were still with us - I have so many questions to ask about so much....

Isabelle said...

Ah yes, that's the way I want to go too. (Though without the smoking, if that's all right.) Hard for those left behind, though.

You look like her!

Rattling On said...

Your Mum was very photogenic, and looks like she wouldn't miss a trick!

the veg artist said...

It's a shock for those who are left, but much kinder, I think, than a long, lingering death. I'm hoping for a bus to knock me down, myself, which, given the way I cross the road, is quite likely.
(But will we still have public transport?)

Val said...

How wonderful to be remembered by your family in such a loving way. When it's my turn to leave I can think of no better way than that granted to your mom; or in my case, quickly and preferably whilst taking superb photographs.

lovethosecupcakes said...

It doesn't matter how long they've been gone, does it? Losing your parents leaves a massive hole that no-one else can fill.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Thanks for introducing us to her - she does, as Rattling on says, look as though she didn't miss a trick.

June said...

Funny how seven years passes by so quickly, isn't it. The memory of The Event stays fresh. But your mom does live on in your memories of her. Nice tribute.
And I do have to congratulate your mother, posthumously, for having a good death.

elizabethm said...

What a great photo. She looks like someone you would invite right in!

BumbleVee said...

it's why I don't like Mother's Day..... it was always a fun day for us to go home to visit. Always...no matter where we were.... that ..and on her birthday for sure ... as well as lots of other days, but those two for sure .... ...

I can't just pick up the phone and call mine anymore either ... can't go to visit in Victoria like I used to do each May... we can't walk along the sea wall like we used to do... she laughing and loving the breeze in her face...... She's been gone since '98 .... it'll always hurt I guess...... sending hugs...... definitely know how it feels......

Dartford Warbler said...

Your Mum looks a lovely lady. Mine was too. It`s five years this spring since she died, and never a day goes by when I don`t miss her. Sadly, mine had a stroke and had a long,lingering end with too much suffering.I`m glad your Mum had a better time of it.

Mac n' Janet said...

Lost my Mom 17 years ago and I still miss her. Cigarettes did get her at 71, but you know what, we hid a pack in her coffin to take with her.

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